- We don't always have enough time to cover all of the recent news, so here with a recap is one of our writers, Amber Ruffin, in a segment we call "Amber Says What."
You guys, things have been crazy.
Okay, first of all.
Prince William and Kate had a baby boy. And everyone was like, "Whaat?"
Then Kendrick Lamar became the first rapper ever to win a Pulitzer Prize for music. And I was like, "Whaat?!"
Then Trump's lawyer was like, "I have a secret client." And I was like "What?"
Then, he was like, "It's Sean Hannity!" And I was like, "What?!"
Then they showed a picture of Sean Hannity, and I was like "Whaat... happened to him?" Did he get stung in the neck by a thousand bees?
then Starbucks called the police on two black men for just sitting there. And I heard that and was like, "Whaaaat?"
Then everyone was like, "We are mad!" And Starbucks was like, "We sorry." Then everyone was like, "We are still mad." And Starbucks was like, "We sorry?"
Then everyone was like, "We stay mad." And Starbucks was like, "We will close 8,000 US stores May 29th for racial bias training."
And everyone was like, "...Okay."
Then a white boxer wearing shorts that said "America First" and had a picture of a border wall on them went up against a Mexican boxer and I was like, "Whaaat?"
Then that Mexican boxer whooped that man so bad. I was like, "..." Que. Then, the cutest thing happened.
A Golden Retriever service dog got to march for its owner's commencement graduation! And it wore a cap and gown. And when it got to this stage, the Dean shook its paw. I saw that and was like, "Woof?!" Which is dog for "What?!"
Then I found out Trump didn't go to Barbara Bush's funeral, and I was like, "What...a good idea."
But Melania went and she had the best time with Barack. They were laughing and carrying on. And I was like, "Melania, what... is that on your face? I have never seen that before."
Then I heard Beyonce was going to perform at Coachella. And I was like, "What is Coachella?"
Then someone explained that it's a festival in the desert with no seating, and I was like, "What? That sounds white."
Then they were like, "You could watch it online!"
So I did and Beyonce came out looking like literal black r-roy-alty. She came out looking like literal black royalty. Say it three times fast. You can't. She came out looking good is what I'm trying to say, and I was like, "What?!" Then she was not like, "Coachella, where are all of my strong, beautiful queens at tonight?" And I was like, "I'm right here, alone in my apartment!"
She had a huge black college marching band, and I was like,"Whaat?!" Then she sang hit after hit after hit. And I was like "what" after "what" after "what".
Then she brought out her sister Solange, and I was like, "What?" Then she brought out Destiny's Child, and I was like, "Whaaat?"
Then she brought out Jay-z, and I was like, "This is not about you."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QjbubDBw7UE
