Hi Santa!
Hello, Ding-Dongs!
I want to talk to you about your son, little Coconut.
I've been a teacher for many years and I've never seen such a fuzzy child.
What's on this disk?
Seven photos of Ingrid Bergman running.
All you have to do is look deep within your perineum.
So, what's the news?
Well, we just finished processing your tests and unfortunately the results are swirling.
Get out, you!
I completely understand that reaction.
Your blood pressure is 59 over 2 and our X-rays found a canoe in your

Achilles heel.
It also appears you have a rare condition known as Fluffy Platypus Disease.
You're here today under the suspicion of second degree robbery.
Crumbs!
That's right! 4,229 eggs were stolen from Macy's and the crime scene has your butt written all over it!
Where were you on the night of Hanukkah?
Fine, I did it. I commited the robbery. But I only did it because I needed the money to buy myself little toe implants.
I did some research on you and I see that you are unmarried and that you were adopted at age 49.
It was a late adoption.
You intrigue me, Ms. Barf-Barf.
When someone intrigues me I tickle excessively.
My sock is sweating!
When I'm around you, I feel like a zamboni driver at a funeral.
You know?
I've heard that before.
Well, how about you, Popeye? What do you do for a living?
I'm a very successful astronaut. But my real passion is digging.
Just give me a spoon and put me out in the backyard!
Oh my god!
Popeye, that's my favorite activity, too!
What do you like to do for fun?
I just said, I like digging. You don't really listen.
Well, I enjoy collecting bikinis.
I think you know what that means. And taking long walks to France.
The reason I work so hard is because I get to spread joy to millions of people and go sit by the fire shaking my nad.
While eating cookies and drinking Milwaukee's Best Ice.
I want for you to read with him at least 19 years every night.
I actually just bought him the book Harry Potter and Ladies of the Night.
That's a very good one. That's a very good one.
I'm gonna write you a prescription for these pills.
Right here, that I have in my pocket.
I want you to take one every two hours.
But I heard those pills cause involuntary drinking.
I'm afraid they do.
Side effects also include an itchy armpit and a decrease in the desire to hammer.
Little bro, I'm gonna tell you the same thing Dad used to tell me every night before bed.
"Stay golden, Ponyboy".
"Stay golden, Ponyboy".
Truer words have never been spoken.
You're the best agent we have!
How do you prepare for such tense missions?
By waking up every morning. Going up on the roof and kissing and by repeating my own personal mantra: Poopity scoop... Poopity scoop...
And scene!

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HLXmmqY-eGk

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